NIGERIAN PARENTS Vs SEX EDUCATION

When I was little, my dad used to sit me down and tell me:


“Quincy, stay away from boys. Look, these species of homo-sapiens are very dangerous …I am not joking”.

And I would be looking at him confused, because the last time I checked, my younger brother was a boy.

So should I not come and play with my brother again? I would wonder with tears in my eyes.

“My dear, these people besides your brothers have hidden agenda…” he would continue, as if he had just read my mind. “Don’t go near them because they are worse than Ayamatanga.”

“Ah!” I would lament. The man apparently knew my weakest spot.

“Ayamatanga?” I would ask worried.

And my father would nod.

“Once you do” he would continue. “You go get belle!”

“Don’t say I did not warn you o” he would insist, drawing his ears almost to the ground with all fierceness. And fear will be catching me.

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Pregnancy then, was like a curse. Hehehe the word could literally send shivers down my spine. And once a friend makes the mistake of insulting me, saying: “Quincy you go get belle”, I would spit on the ground, and then, send my hands over my head saying “God forbid! na you go get belle!”

And believe me that would be the end of my friendship with that friend. It did not matter that we were once best friends. I did not care that he or she gave me their baby-rubber to play with the day before, or that we kukuma did amebaba that morning. Once they say “Preg…” Our friendship was over.

….OVER!

So as God would have it, I spent half of my teenage years pinching faces, and drawing my ears at boys.
I was a tigress!

I could also remember that back then, my mother’s own tactics were less brutal. Her weapon of destruction was the Nigerian movies of those days. In the movies then, you would find scenes where a boy would be pursuing a girl round a tree, and calling her sweet names and then, the next day, the girl was pregnant.

Just like that!

That would be the scene my mother would pause, and then shout:

“Quincy o!”

I would come running from the room into the sitting room, only to find my mother tapping the chair next to her saying, “Oya see dawn…watch!”.

After the scene had passed, she would turn to me and then ask:

“Shey you have seen? Like listen, like no listen”

And I’d return to my room more confused than ever, wondering: What was I supposed to listen?

As time went by, those childhood fears began to give way to more pressing concerns like feelings, emotions and of course my parents were there to eventually change the story. It was no longer an Ayamatanga gist.

“You have to keep yourself untouched” My mother said “let your virginity be a gift for your husband”.

When she had first said that, I had grinned so hard that I was sure my teeth were going to fall off. I was so excited that I had a gift to present to a man I was yet to meet, but as I grew older and started understanding the world, I began to wonder if I’d have my own gift. If the man I was saving myself for, would also save himself for me. But we all know how that usually plays out-very few men stay virgins these days, and the ones who do, get ridiculed to the point of surrender.

In our part of the world-Nigeria- our men are brought up to learn how to properly use a condom, not to be virgins, and many have attributed this to the fact that it is a man’s world.

Okay…No wahala

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 But what I don’t get is, if these boys don’t need the sex talk in respect to staying ‘untouched’, since they are expected to be men when they grow up( the mighty ones who should possess all the experience in the field of sex as long as they do not bring a pregnant girl home),it would be mean that these boys/men would have to experiment, abi? Because the last time I checked, one has to work for a reasonable length of time in a particular field of interest, before he or she is regarded to have obtained some level of experience in that field.

So just out of curiosity, who will our brothers be experimenting with? People’s wives? Sex peddlers? Doll babies? Goats? Lamas? Or the same daughters we want to keep untouched?

Have we ever stopped to consider that perhaps, Virgin boy plus Virgin girl would equal Virgins.

Personally, I think that just as much emphasis is placed on the girl child to keep herself till marriage, same should be placed on the male child. Otherwise, nature would eventually balance itself out in some way.

But before I start going off like one pastor’s wife or deaconess, kindly tell us how your first sex talk was like, with your parents when you were a kid. Did it go well? What ridiculous stories did your parents tell you about sex?

If you are married and already have kids, what age do you think it’s appropriate to lecture your kids about sex?Do you think sex education should be inculcated in school curriculum?

Kindly share…


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6 thoughts on “NIGERIAN PARENTS Vs SEX EDUCATION”

  1. PERMIT ME TO GO "SPIRO" ABOUT THIS TOPIC A LITTLE….

    FOR THE GUYS….

    "And knew her not till she had brought forth her firstborn son: and he called his name JESUS." (Matt. 1:25).

    The above is about Joseph, not getting intimate with his Wife Mary, till she put to bed Jesus.

    What can you as a Guy learn here?

    Can you suspend your natural desires, so that your Woman can safely birth her Divine Dream? If a Husband could do the above, how much more you Single Guy- killing spiritual ladies with your Sex demands. How many Ladies have left your house being weaker in their Spiritual dreams, due to your carnal skills.

    Be a Leader!

    FOR THE PARENTS OUT THERE…..

    Why do your kids become delinquent so quick?

    – Their parents bought them PlayStation, but no PrayStation.

    – You enrol them in the 'best' school, but never in Sunday School.

    – They're forced to school every morning, but asked if they wish to go to Church Sunday morning.

    – Lastly, you see them as your Children, but yet to see them Firstly as God's children.

    In summary of all, I'm of the opinion that, there's no amount of sex education that you would give to a child that would make him/her stay away from sex till marriage…The world has long shifted from "sex teachings" to "spiritual awareness"… Attention should be paid to ensuring this child learn God's words to the fullest right from birth…why?
    If you as a parent focus on sex education for ur child, and forget to spiritually educate ur child, I tell u, lack of "Fear of God" will make ur efforts counterproductive.
    This same child whom you think you have sexually educated, will with time, become curious, adventurous, peer-pressurized, and eventually fall….

  2. I don't think i received any sex education from my parents. However, I think i remember my mother asking me in a worried voice: did your prick rise this morning that you woke up? If i say no, wahala. If i say yes, she smiles. Then the interrogation continues: did you sleep with any woman in your dreams? If i say yes, that day is compulsory fasting and prayers against spirit wife. I learnt to say no despite my boxers being wet from wet dreams. Lol. I think my parents just rationalized that with the amount of spiricoco going on in my family, that is the sex education. I don't even wanna talk about when i was caught trying out some sexual activities with my baby sister…..

    I am an avid reader of sexuality issues, and how it affects children. What i have learnt is that from a year plus, sexual education starts. Children are natuarally curious, as evident in my eight month old son who sometimes plays with his dick now that he can see it. Daddy where did i come from is the perfect question to start the sex education tutorials. I hope to avoid all those nonsense our parents did or didnt say, i hope to be my children's friend, friend enough for them to ask questions about their sexuality. I hope i would be truthful enough when answering their questions.

    I completely disagree that sex education should be included in the school curriculum. That would encourage parents to be totally irresponsible in teaching their children about sex. You don't wanna consider the chaos the topic of Reproduction caused in JSS 2 Intergrated Science among us that time. Rather, parents shouls be more sensitized about teaching their children about their sexuality early enough. By the way, sex education isn't all encompassing. Sexuality education is. There is a difference between one's sexuality and just sex. Thanks

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